A Mindful Practice for Modern Living

How Do You Check In With Yourself?

As a psychologist working with women navigating the complexities of modern life, I’ve noticed a common thread in my practice: many of us have become disconnected from our internal landscape. We’re experts at managing external demands – career responsibilities, family needs, social obligations – but when asked, “How are you, really?” we often pause, uncertain how to answer.

The Art of Creating Space

Before we can truly check in with ourselves, we must first acknowledge a fundamental truth: self-connection requires space. In a world that glorifies busyness, carving out time for inner reflection can feel almost rebellious. Yet, this act of stepping away from the constant doing is essential for our wellbeing.

Consider this: when was the last time you sat in complete silence, without reaching for your phone or filling the void with activity? Creating space might look like:

• A morning ritual before the house wakes up
• A mindful lunch break away from your desk
• An evening wind-down period without screens
• A weekend morning dedicated to solitude

Energy Awareness: Your Internal Fuel Gauge

One of the most crucial aspects of self-check-ins is monitoring your energy levels. Think of your energy as a currency – you’re constantly spending and replenishing it through various activities and interactions. Throughout the week, pause to notice:

What’s your physical energy like? Are you feeling vibrant and strong, or depleted and heavy? Where is your mental energy? Are thoughts flowing clearly, or does your mind feel foggy and overwhelmed? How’s your emotional energy? Are you feeling resilient and open, or raw and vulnerable?

The Social Battery: Understanding Your Capacity for Connection

In my practice, I often use the metaphor of a “social battery” – our capacity for engaging with others. This battery looks different for everyone, and it can fluctuate based on life circumstances. Pay attention to:

• How do you feel before, during, and after social interactions?
• What types of social engagements energize you versus drain you?
• Are you craving connection or solitude?
• How long does it take you to recharge after significant social interaction?

Emotional Weather Patterns

Just as we experience external weather, we have internal weather patterns – the ebb and flow of our emotional landscape. Regular check-ins help us recognize these patterns. Consider keeping a simple emotion journal, noting:

• What emotions have visited you today?
• Are there any persistent emotional states?
• How are you responding to these emotions?
• What needs might these emotions be signalling?

Sensitivity Levels: Your Emotional Thermometer

Our sensitivity to external stimuli – others’ emotions, environmental factors, life demands – can vary greatly. Some days we have thick skin, while other times we feel more permeable. Notice:

• How affected are you by others’ moods and energy?
• What’s your capacity for handling sensory input (noise, light, activity)?
• Are you feeling more or less reactive than usual?
• What boundaries might you need to adjust based on your current sensitivity?

The Practice of Coming Home to Self

Think of checking in with yourself as a practice of coming home – returning to your internal space with curiosity and compassion. Here’s a simple framework I share with my clients:

1. Create the Container: Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Take a few deep breaths to anchor yourself in the present moment.
2. Scan Your Landscape: Moving from physical sensations to emotions to thoughts, notice what’s present without trying to change anything.
3. Listen Deeply: Ask yourself gentle questions:
   • What do I need right now?
   • What’s asking for my attention?
   • What’s supporting me? What’s depleting me?
4. Record Your Insights: Whether through journaling, voice notes, or simple mental noting, document what you discover. This helps track patterns over time.

Making It Sustainable

The key to meaningful self-check-ins is finding a rhythm that works for your life. Start small – perhaps with a five-minute morning check-in or an evening reflection. The goal isn’t perfection but rather building a sustainable practice of self-connection.

Remember, checking in with yourself isn’t self-indulgent – it’s essential maintenance for your wellbeing. Just as we wouldn’t expect our devices to run indefinitely without charging, we can’t sustainably care for others or pursue our goals without regular inner connection.

By developing this practice of conscious self-attention, you’re not just maintaining your wellbeing – you’re modelling healthy self-relationship for others in your life. In a world that often pulls us away from ourselves, the simple act of checking in becomes a radical act of self-care and wisdom.

What might change in your life if you committed to regular, intentional self-check-ins? The answer lies in creating that space and showing up for yourself, one moment at a time. one conscious breath at a time.

This post was crafted with love for those seeking deeper connection with their inner wisdom. May it serve as a gentle reminder to pause, breathe, and come home to yourself.

Written by Emma Peterson
Registered Psychologist